Review #272

DNF. I got through enough of this one to leave a short review. This is a sequel to a YA fantasy all about demons, female power, and seeing things through another perspective.

Here’s the blurb:

It’s been six months since Deka freed the goddesses in the ancient kingdom of Otera and discovered who she really is… but war is waging across the kingdom, and the real battle has only just begun. For there is a dark force growing in Otera—a merciless power that Deka and her army must stop.

Yet hidden secrets threaten to destroy everything Deka has known. And with her own gifts changing, Deka must discover if she holds the key to saving Otera… or if she might be its greatest threat.

Here’s my thoughts live while reading:

I’m not a huge fan of how this sequel started. I recall loving the first but this is a prime example of why I need to wait until a series is done and binge read everything. There is sooo much info dumping to remind the reader what happened before. And there’s so much of it that I’m confused. And when the action begins, because I’m in her head only and the heroine is using so many filtering words about confusion that I’m also confused. There’s too much to keep tabs on right now to immerse myself in the world so quickly without remembering details of how the first book ended.

I immediately care less about Deka since she’s immortal. 

I’m not connecting so far because the talk of the gods and slain creatures coming back to life gives me little hope already that they can ever defeat their villain.  

It’s hard for me to invest emotion when a heroine is trying to “save all her people” or a whole land. It’s much more effective for me when she’s trying to protect a specific person or group that she’s close to and loves but right now I don’t feel like I know who she cares for. She seems to thrive on her new power but again, I don’t find her relatable right now if she’s one of two things: invincible or the exact opposite- no chance of succeeding if they all come back to live. Overall, what’s the point? 

So this chica was burning for a thousand years in torture? Um, first- not relatable. Secondly, it makes everything else feel not important at all. Like she is worried about not telling this Firstborn about a little concern of seeing a dream/memory, and I bet that moment will be important to the plot, but it seems so trivial compared to that. So, I’m having a hard time putting priorities in order here.  

The symbol that possibly blocks her powers is a great plot point that I enjoy.  

There’s lots of telling such as: “That’s why alaki avoid me…” or pages later: “They’re the reason deathshrieks kept attacking Oteran villages…”

I do really appreciate that it’s first person, present tense and in one point of view, because that’s all the plan of my next work-in-progress, “A Crimson Oath.”

So on a random page, let’s say page 140, I can show lots of examples of telling, which is making it really hard to connect to the story:

“No one says anything directly.”

Show this by showing the silence. 

“… that’s because they survived long enough to…”

Show this 

“It’s important to be thorough in situations like this.”

Show this 

There’s too many feeling words told like “agitated,” “unnerved,” “seeming confused,” and “surprised.” These should be evident from body language, tone and dialogue.

Check out my next project to see if it’ll be a DNF for you 🙂 no judgement. Click here.

Published by CassieSwindon

Fiction author

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: